What is the Hardest Thing About IVF? Facing the Real Struggles

• By Arjun Deshpande
• 18 Apr, 2025
• 0 Comments

IVF isn’t just about shots and doctor visits—it’s a wild mix of hope, anxiety, and tackling some of the toughest feelings you’ll ever face. No one warns you how hard the waiting feels, or how seeing yet another negative pregnancy test can mess with your mind. It’s not rare to feel jealous when friends post baby news, or to lose patience with every 'just relax and it’ll happen' comment.

Things get real physical too. Daily hormone injections can leave you bruised, tired, and cranky. Those ultrasound appointments? Sometimes you start to feel more like a science project than a person. And then there’s the uncertainty. You can eat all the right foods and follow every rule, and still not get the result you want. No wonder a lot of people describe IVF as an emotional marathon more than anything else.

• The Emotional Whirlwind
• Physical Side Effects and Challenges
• Financial Pressure and Uncertainty
• Keeping Relationships Strong

The Emotional Whirlwind

If you think IVF is just medical stuff, think again. The emotional side? It’s a real rollercoaster. One day you’re hopeful, the next you feel totally defeated. It’s normal—almost everyone going through IVF feels like this at some point.

The toughest part is the waiting. You’ll wait for test results, wait between cycles, and sometimes even wait for your turn just to see the doctor. Research shows about 60% of people in IVF treatment describe the waiting as the most stressful part, even more than the needles. You’re always wondering: will this work, or is it going to be another disappointment?

Then there’s the letdown that comes if things don’t go as planned. Failed cycles sting hard, maybe even more than people let on. It can mess with your confidence and leave you second-guessing every choice. You might feel jealous of friends who get pregnant easily, or annoyed by well-meaning advice that sounds like 'just relax.' That’s totally normal, even if it doesn’t feel great.

There's also the pressure of being positive. Friends and family may push you to keep your chin up, but forcing yourself to always look on the bright side is exhausting. Giving yourself permission to feel upset—without guilt—is actually healthier than pretending you’re okay.

The mental load can spill into other areas. Sleep goes out the window. Work performance can slip, and even simple things like going to the grocery store can feel draining if you run into someone from your 'old life.' Every little interaction turns into a reminder that you’re in the thick of something big.

Here’s what actually helps during IVF:

• Talk to someone who gets it—forums, support groups, or a therapist trained in fertility issues.
• Put boundaries around tough conversations. It’s okay to say, 'I don’t want to talk about IVF today.'
• Focus on small goals, like making it through the next appointment, instead of the whole journey.
• Keep one activity that has nothing to do with IVF. Sports, painting, dog-walking—doesn’t matter.

Quick fact: Studies say couples who get support (even just online) tend to have less depression and anxiety during IVF. So you’re not alone, and reaching out does make a real difference.

Physical Side Effects and Challenges

No sugar-coating here—IVF is tough on the body. First up are the daily hormone shots you or your partner might get. These injections can cause bruising, bloating, mood swings, and headaches. It’s not just minor stuff, either. Some people get what’s called ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS). That’s when the ovaries react a little too much and you end up with pain, swelling, and sometimes even need a hospital stay. It happens in about 3% to 6% of IVF cycles—way more common than clinics sometimes let on.

Then there’s the blood tests and the never-ending ultrasounds. A typical cycle might mean visiting the clinic every other day for monitoring, sometimes even daily when it gets close to egg retrieval. You get poked, prodded, and sit in waiting rooms a lot. Your veins and patience both get tested.

Recovery after egg retrieval is no joke either. It’s a short procedure but afterward, cramps and mild bleeding are normal. Some can bounce back in a day, but others feel off for a week. The medications also play havoc with sleep and energy levels. Sex drive? Yeah, that often drops off a cliff with all the hormones and discomfort.

If you hear people say that IVF is just a "medical procedure," that’s only part of it. The process pushes your body in unexpected ways. Best thing you can do is stay super hydrated, rest when you can, and don’t ignore symptoms that feel wrong. Doctors are used to questions—don’t tough it out alone. If you’re supporting your partner, a heated pad and some gentle humor can go a long way.

Financial Pressure and Uncertainty

If you ask anyone who’s been through IVF, they’ll tell you—the price tag stings. In India, a single IVF cycle can set you back anywhere from ₹1.5 lakh to over ₹2.5 lakh, and that’s just round one. Not everyone talks about the surprise costs: blood tests every week, frozen embryo storage fees, or extra medications if your body doesn’t follow the plan. And here’s the tricky part—most insurance plans don’t touch fertility treatments, so it’s usually all out-of-pocket.

Let’s break down some typical costs:

If you need multiple cycles, the numbers multiply fast. It’s not just about money flying out of your account—it’s the stress of not knowing if the next round will finally work or just drain your savings some more. No doctor can predict if IVF will succeed the first time or sixth. To make things tougher, fertility clinics usually want payments upfront, so you’ve got decisions to make before you even start treatment.

Here are a few tips to manage IVF expenses and stress:

• Get a full, written breakdown of all fees before starting anything.
• Ask your clinic if they offer payment plans or bundled packages for multiple cycles.
• Look into nonprofit grants or government programs—sometimes there’s small help, depending on where you live and your income.
• Don’t be afraid to negotiate or shop around—fees actually do vary between clinics. Transparency is key.
• Set aside a small emergency fund for surprise costs, because those sneak up often.

The uncertainty doesn’t end with money. There’s the question of ‘what if it doesn’t work?’ hanging over your head after every cycle. With IVF, you’re investing in hope, and sometimes it’s tough not knowing exactly what you’ll get in return. That’s why support—even from online groups—really matters to help you keep going if you have to try again.

Keeping Relationships Strong

The hardest thing about IVF often boils down to its impact on relationships. Let’s be real—pressure from daily injections, stress about timing, and constant appointments can make even simple conversations tense. Partners or spouses might argue about small things, just because that pressure keeps building up.

According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, about 30% of couples say infertility—and treatments like IVF—puts “a significant strain” on their relationship. It’s easy to feel alone, even when you’re in it together. Sometimes, the partner who isn’t physically experiencing the process feels helpless. The one getting the treatments might worry they’re responsible for failures or be tired of being poked, prodded, and told what to do with their body.

"IVF is not just a medical journey. It’s an emotional test of resilience and partnership." — Dr. Jessica Shepherd, OB/GYN and women's health expert

Here’s what helps most couples get through it:

• Talk honestly: Even if you feel like you’re repeating yourself, keep the dialogue going. Don’t just focus on updates or results—share how you’re really feeling.
• Share the load: Go to appointments together when you can. Handle some of the paperwork, phone calls, or chores so one person isn’t buried under it all.
• Let each other grieve: Not every cycle will end with good news. Give your partner space if they need to process things differently.
• Find distractions: Life shouldn’t just be about IVF treatment. Watch movies, go for walks, meet friends—take breaks from baby talk.
• Reach out for support: Joining a support group or talking to a therapist can actually make a huge difference. Sometimes, venting to people who really get it makes everything less overwhelming.

If it helps to see things in numbers, here’s something simple:

There’s nothing weak about admitting that IVF is tough for a couple. The tougher the situation, the more you have to lean on each other—even if it means asking for help outside the relationship. When you put in work to communicate and support each other, it doesn’t just help you get through the treatment. It ends up making the whole relationship stronger—no matter what happens in the end.